Access privilege: When you let your wife or kids play with the computer.
Active program: The program you are currently using is called an active program if it requires a lot of mouse or joystick movement, or requires constant trips to the help menu.
Active window: When you and your wife want to use a different program.
Alert box: An annoying box that pops up on the screen to let you know that you just did something stupid. Usually accompanied by an alert sound to let everyone else in the office know that you did something stupid. Hitting the return key will usually let you continue the stupid act.
ADB (Apple Desktop Bus): Apple computer’s easier way to hook up a long chain of overpriced trackballs, bar code readers and scanners in a daisy chain so that you have no room on your desk for pencils and paper.
AMUG: A small country in North America. Its chief export is software and information. The native language is Appletalk.
Apple menu: A convenient place to store your most commonly used games and gimmicks.
Appletalk: When 2 or more Mac users compare the neat toys on their computers over beer and pretzels.
Back up: To save a copy of useless information on a separate disc. Usually not worth the effort. (see system crash).
Button: Usually 2 or more buttons are found in a dialogue box, offering you every choice except the one you want.
Cancel button: The button in a dialogue box that undoes 8 hours of work with a single mouse click.
C.D.: What you cash in so that you can afford all of the latest goodies.
Click: What you can do for a very short time after having your mouse repaired.
Clipboard: The wooden object on your lap that holds pencil and paper because there is no room on your desk. (see adb)
Command: An instruction that tells your computer to do the wrong thing.
Cursor: What one becomes during a system crash.
Cut: A command in the edit menu that removes selected material and loses it forever.
Default: When you lose information it is usually de fault of someone else.
Desktop: A place to hide icons and folders.
Extensions: The cords running all over your office to plug in all of your goodies.:
File sharing: The art of sneaking the non-computer related work to your wife’s desk.
Finder: The software that keeps you looking for the work you did the previous day.
Floppy disk: Usually used as coasters, some people use them to store information. Single sided disks are much less expensive and protect your coffee table as well as high density disks.
Hard disk: A hard disk can lose much more information than a floppy in less time.
Hoist down the mizzenpoop: This is not a Macintosh term. I do not know how it got here.
IBM: Incredible baloney machine. This version rated “g”. (see cursor)
Keyboard: A handy place to spill coffee, beer or wine.
Macro: A command that allows you to do many stupid things with a single keystroke.
Memory: What you are always running short of.
Memory cache: Part of your memory set aside to be totally useless.
Modem: A device which allows you to run up extremely high phone bills and allows you to extend your Mastercard to the limit in the comfort of your home.
Mouse button: $9.95 at Radio Shack.
Multifinder: A system that allows you to crash more than one application at a time.
Network: A collection of computers hooked together so that someone else can trash your work. (see default)
Open: What you can’t do to an application because of insufficient memory.
Password: A unique word or set of characters that is easily forgotten.:
Paste: The white stuff you used to eat in kindergarten. Now your kids bring it home and spread it on your keyboard.
Read me: The teach text document that you ignore when you get a new application.
Save: A futile attempt to keep your work from disappearing.
SCSI: (pronounced scuzzy) how you look after trying to get a new system up and running.
System: The software in a Mac that displays the alert boxes and bombs.
Trash: A box under your desk where you accidentally threw the operating instructions. Also the area in the lower right corner of your screen where your kids like to put your most important documents.
Virus: (see shareware, or bulletin board) practice safe software.
White Out: The stuff on your screen that lets you know that your new secretary has been using your Mac
